Wednesday, July 31, 2019

ABSORBED

Awaken, after sleeping for  a few hours, my body feels incapable to be in a concrete situation, centered, on its own. It felt like the body was inside a bubble, slowly becoming each one of the experiences that had absorbed me in the past: the mother who didn't want me to be autonomous, wanting my body to express her thoughts; the lover who forced me to accompany him on the deathbed, holding my hand while dying; a coworker who made me believe that she was a loyal colleague, while, behind my back, tore me apart, destroying my reputation with the rest of the faculty; the neighbor who smiles, tells me stories, listens to my comments and then betrays me; the friend who offers to help me with my moving to a new place, collects everything he can from my apartment, and then evaporates; all of them disappearing from the nightmare I had before waking up. The body felt drained, without substance. It was the first of many short sleeping episodes, an old man will have every night. Will I wake up again or will I be absorbed once more?

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